5/24 Thoughts and Prayer

The past five months for me have been hectic. God was leading me to a new place and giving me a new beginning. When there is sudden change, you know God is trying to do something in your life, and I had faith in this too. Things didn't look to bright, to be honest. I wanted to complain so badly, or do or say something out of anger.

Looking back, I know every single thing that happened was a part of God's plans. There are still some questions I have, some things I wish I knew the answer to, but maybe God finds it unnecessary for me to know them. I know God will reveal things to me at the right time. Even if He doesn't, it's okay. What matters is, I'm happy to be here.

One thing I've noticed was, how well God has helped me to handle the change. I didn't let my emotions take over me - I made a choice not to let my emotions lead me. I've protected my heart and I clung onto God's words. As a traditionalist and a person horrible when it comes to dealing with changes, this event was a huge change for me, but I was okay with it all. I held onto Jesus' hand and walked with Him, side by side. Every time I wanted to cry and complain, Jesus whispered in my ears and told me it was all okay.

I'm just very thankful that God has truly helped me to mature. I've shed so many tears while working at my old workplace. There were times I felt so unappreciated, belittled, and unhappy. I questioned myself and my future while working there. Friends told me it was okay to quit - and I knew this too. But no comfort or advices hit me. God just didn't give me the right time to leave and I was waiting for Him. Now I can see God wanted me to be the person I am today for this right time.

There's going to be further changes in my life. Even at this point, I feel a big change coming my way. Changes always scare me; I'm still no good when it comes to dealing with changes. But it's okay. God will give me the strength when the time comes.

Lord, help me to continue to protect my heart. Whatever is coming my way, I just want to deal with it without letting my emotions get in the way. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I want to be mature in handling everything. And most of all, I want this to be another fast pass for me to prepare my death well, to meet You.