After Reading A Grief Observed

When you are happy, so happy you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be — or so it feels— welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence.

I find this quote so true; when everything is going great, why is it so much easier to feel the presence of God? Why is it so difficult to feel His indeecribable love when I'm in pain?

I want to rely on God no matter what. I don't want situations to affect my relationship with God.

In my head I know so well that grabbing onto what I can easily seek will not get rid of the issue in my heart. But it takes great will and effort to stop myself and to open my Bible.

I feel God is reminding me of what a great sinner I am. Underneath the smiles and my "holy" behavior, I'm just a sinner clothed in white thanks to Jesus' grace.