8/14 Thoughts and Prayer

I was really surprised that the testimony from yesterday could so much be related to the big change I've went through beginning this year. I've realized that I've been arrogant for sure, but I think the focus has always been on how I've been wronged and me trying to figure out what must have happened that had caused all this. And deep down, I felt I had done nothing wrong. All I've done is put my effort into what I was told to do. And I tried to be very respectful to my leaders. Every time I run into these people connected to what had happened (or even people I used to work with), I get reminded that I've been rejected, and that these people must feel the same way about me.

Even after I had heard God's sweet and assuring voice, telling me that everything is and was part of His plans, and that what had happened was NOT a rejection, but rather a shift, a transition, a change for good, I would once again be reminded of what had happened to me by the comforting looks or remarks about what had happened made by people I was fond of. 

But God, You have confirmed it for me: I've gotten your acknowledgement. And I'm thankful to know You've chosen me and that You love me. You don't allow me to stay me. You don't allow me to do whatever I want; rather, You train me, teach me, and discipline me. It's been painful, honestly, but I feel the more painful this process is, the bigger Your love is for me.

My answer to You is that, all I want is to seek Your face and love You more. Thank You for telling me that I am Yours, that You've chosen me out of so many, that You continue to watch out for me.